Real Talk: Religion.

Let me start this post by saying that I am Catholic, and I converted to Catholicism a few years ago from a quasi-non-denominational Protestant background. Many have questioned my motivation for converting, and I must admit that there were times during the process that even I wasn't sure that my intentions were completely correct, but after almost two years of being Catholic, I am happy with my choice and know that it was the right decision. But, this bit of background brings me to my first point:

1. What makes us do what we do? Or, are our decisions really our own, or does God make them for us?

I am one of those people who likes to believe that everything happens for a reason, because without this reason, the world is in Chaos and the notion of God is somewhat defunct. Sure, I suppose that the universe could serve under God the Creator, where God creates us and lets us run wild, but I find several problems with that, which I will address later (perhaps not in this post).

If we are operating under the reality that everything happens for a reason, then no matter what I could have done, I would have ended up Catholic. In fact, Catholicism had tried before to get me, long before I went to college and met the people who helped me join the faith.

The first time the notion of Catholicism entered my head was when I was fourteen years old. We were discussing Romeo and Juliet in my freshman English class when we started discussing an aspect of Catholics' faith. I cannot really dive too deeply into what this is, exactly, but that class made me think about the world completely differently in a very profound way. It took me years to realize just how different my life could have been had that conversation not happened.

During my Junior year of high school, I was having one of a long string of faith crises, in which I just wasn't getting what I wanted to out of organized religion. I still remember clearly sitting in chemistry with some of my friends, discussing this issue, and they all recommended that maybe the problem wasn't me, maybe I just wasn't going to the right churches, etc. The thought of Catholicism hit me then, and I thought about giving it a try. Unfortunately, at the age of 16, I still really wasn't that good at making decisions for myself, and my friends were able to quickly talk me out of it. Could that lingering thought have been another attempt by Got to send me in this direction?

Three times is the charm, however, and the next time Catholicism entered my life, I was fully prepared to give it a chance. During the year-long RCIA process, many people (particularly my father) didn't quite understand why I was doing what I was doing. Many people thought that I was doing it to get someone's attention, and I cannot deny that my friends played an important role in my conversion, I will not say that they were the only reasons. I can be confident that my decision was based on my own will and conviction because on Auguest 26th, 2007, my second Mass, I had an amazing experience. During Communion, a friend I was with told me to cross my arms and go up for a blessing, and I did. When Father Wall put his hand on my shoulder in blessing, I felt this overwhelming sense that this was where I belonged. I almost started to cry. That was the moment I decided that Catholicism was for me.

So, to the point- why did I become Catholic? Could it have been entirely my decision, or was it God's plan the entire time? Were the previous two experiences simply coincidence? I suppose the answer lies in whether you have faith in a God who is an active participant in your life. Following the "everything happens for a reason" notion, my experiences in high school were not just chance, and were building up to my eventual conversion in college. My conversion was meant to be. It was inevitable and I fully believe that God willed it.

But if God willed it, why did it take three times before you converted?

Because God gave us free will. We always complain about how God is making our lives unduly difficult, but have we ever given thought to how we are making God's life difficult, too? Just because something is inevitable does not mean that it can simply be. God wants us to evolve and develop into who he wants us to be. Surely his job would be significantly less fun if he just created us to be perfect and to be exactly who he wants us to be. I believe that God wants us to realize things for ourselves, instead of him simply telling us things. He will give us clues and hints as to where he wants us to go and what he wants us to do, but deep down, it is up to us as to the timeline of our progression as souls and how we get to our final destination. This brings me to my second topic, which I will discuss in a later Post: God the Creator vs. God the Enabler.